The reasons behind the decline and ultimate end of Destiny 2 will always be a topic of discussion. It’s, in my opinion, one of the biggest fumbles in entertainment history. No one thing is to blame, but former Bungie CEO and avid car collector Pete Parsons, who retired in August 2025 as sentiment was at an all-time low and pressure from Sony grew, is the focus of much of the ire. “I hope all your cars break down,” one player wrote in a cheerful farewell to the departing CEO last year, in a rare moment of community unity.
I’m surprised it took this long, but this distaste for ol’ Parsons has manifested into the most on-the-nose thing it could have done for the Destiny community—one final raid poking fun at him. Created by parody account Pete Carsons on X, you’re invited to The Vault of Cars, a play on Destiny’s first-ever raid, The Vault of Glass.
“Do you have what it takes to face Pete Carsons in the Vault of Cars and stop him from purchasing all of the remaining cars in The Last City?” I don’t think any die-hard Destiny player is gonna say no, now, are they?
It’s a browser game that starts with Pete Parsons talking like a Canadian in South Park before he turns into the flying machine, the Destroyer of Guardians. Then the fight begins. It’s satire obviously, but it’s got genuine mechanics lifted from the source material, to its credit: